Happy Place

I feel like it has been way to long since I have written to still say that I have been sucessful with my goal of "Be continuing with my blogging." Buuut, I already checked that one off in my mind so, I'm keeping it you can't take it away from me!!

This post however, I decided would have nothing really to do with my goals. This is just something that was on my mind. Yesterday, I woke up in the worst mood. Not a crabby I don't wanna talk to you mood. I was depressed. Really depressed. I was missing someone. And the hard thing is, is when you are missing someone, you can't really do anything about it. Calling them doesn't work cuz the conversation won't go the way you planned it to in your head. (I suddenly think of a certain scene in "500 Days of Summer"...if you havent seen it, stop everything and go watch it now!) And you can't take out pictures of them cuz well, that just makes it worse. But enough about missing someone, what about just being depressed in general? I noticed something yesterday as I plummented in my mood quickly ending with Ben and Jerry's and too much wine. We as humans revel in our bad moods. We love to be unhappy. I know, that sounds crazy. But look at what we do when we are sad. (or at least what I did yesterday) I thought about the specific thing that was making me sad. I dwelled upon it, I remembered details, and inspected it. Not once did I say, "This is unhealthy, let's think about something else, or at least try to." Nope, I thought. Then, as soon as I got in the car I turned on that one song that I knew would make me even more sad. And when the song was done and had completed its job of successfully making me feel worse...I hit repeat. WHY do we do this to ourselves?? We feed off of problems and phobias and broken relationships and memories that will never be. Luckily for me a revelation came, disguised as a small childrens' choir. I walked in to teach, and couldn't help but feed off of their energy. I left feeling slightly better, still sad, but I wasn't crying into my spudnuts coffee anymore. It was a start. The radio turned on. Sound waves of saddness, sweatpants, overeating, and facebook stalking came rushing out of the speakers. SO I changed it. Did I feel like singing my heart out to Ke$ha at the time? Not really. But within a minute, my foot was at least feeling up to tapping along. My point is, maybe we would be a whole lot more happy with our lives, if we actually put some effort into being happy. Chosing to be. Are my extended feelings any changed because of my mood turn around yesterday? No. Of course not. You will have ups and downs. But my immidiate feelings definitely changed. I was able to put away the sad for a little while and enjoy some good. You know Dennis Prager says that we have a moral obligation to be happy because our attitude so greatly effects the people around us. Now I don't think you should go so far as being a total poser and faking happiness all the time. But, let a little kid make you laugh, turn on some Ke$ha, tap that foot.

Rachel, Party for One

Alright. So I am supposed to be on this new journey of "finding myself" , being "ok" with being single, and doing all these new projects and goals to keep me ocupied. I am occupied. Thats great. I've got a new job that I am very thankful for, which I hope I will be able to keep when school starts. Oh yeah...I forgot to mention...I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOOOOOLL! I am beyond happy about that. But I am am less than satisfied with the single status than I was two months ago. I'm starting to loose steam. I think it sets you back about ten steps when you are watching other people move on when your still standing in the exact same place. It's just a little daunting. People meeting people, everyone getting married around you. People having babies. It's just a lot to handle. I think I'm gonna cuddle Linus now.

Two things crossed off? YEAH BABY!

Alright folks! We are only a little bit into this and I have TWO that's right TWO items completely crossed off of my list! First off...Three recipes (Yes that is how you spell that word...odd) to make and have my family try. My first was the out of the box pasta pie. YUM! And thanks to my mom's birthday party...we got two more!! My sister and I made bacon wrapped smokies. OMG. Super easy, but I have never made them before so it counts!! Get some cocktail wieners, wrap them in some raw bacon, throw em on a pan, sprinkle some brown sugar, and bake at 350 for about 20. These were definitely the hit of the night! The next thing we made was my Mom's cake. From scratch ladies and gentlemen...mno boxing it here! Although it tasted like it was from a box if I do say so myself. And it looked so pretty too! =)

Fun isn't it?? This was a lemon cake with homemade buttercream frosting. With a little food coloring, and a lot of patience, we were able to make it just the right shade of lavender! If you want a great lemon cake recipe, go on to http://www.marthastewart.com/ and type in "Ruffle Tower Cake" into the recipe finder. It will show you the recipe for the cake, and for the frosting.

And next on the list....The DIY arbor my mom and I wanted for the backyard. I did it!! Well....with a looot of my dad's help. The thing is this could have been something I did on my own and gotten done, however it would have fallen over with the first slight breeze. I love my dad, cuz he never wants to do anything half way. I think this project could be a 100-110 dollar project, but with him involved (haha) it ended up being about 150. Which I am actually glad for, I probably would've chosen the cheapest wood there and then all the bugs would have eaten it alive! And screws...scrap metal? Sure why not? Lol...no. My dads choice were "Not just any old screws." So with his amazing help, a beautiful arbor was made.. The wood before it was stained... After it was stained...

I'm a serious stainer...

And I was planning on showing step by step, but I kinda forgot to take picture of that, so...basically cut the wood so you can make three "ladders, and then put them together...hahah and VIOLA!!

A beautiful arbor for your backyard!! Seriously guys...ANYONE could do this. So fun, so easy, and so pretty! It feels SO good to have two items off of my list!!

DIY

I am the type of person who loves to do it MYSELF! I would much rather fix up something old instead of buying it new. Hence, almost every single piece of furniture in my room was used previously and repainted (multiple times=) by me. Sooo...

A few months ago I saw this picture in the inside of my Damien Rice cd cover, and I fell in love with her. I immediately began planning in my head how I could blow the picture up somehow and get in printed on a canvas. However that of course involves CAAASH. Although the new job is goin pretty well, I'm no high roller. So I decided to just try and paint her myself. So here it is, my third grader art haha. She doesn't look exactly like the print of course, and one day I really would love to get an actual print enlarged, but for now, I really like her. And I'm just proud that I did her...MYSELF!! And that's what I love about art...it's abstract, it's interpretive, it can look any way you want! What DIY projects do you have laying around to do. Roll up your sleeves and give it a try!

"Have a nice Day!"

After finishing a long ten hr work day yesterday, I thought it would be appropriate to write a post on my new job...Costco! The ten hrs I will admit also included my last shift at Forever 21. The job was good for me for the time being but....wait let's be honest. The only good part about that job was the girls I worked with and the teeeeeny discount I got. It was an easy job, but a very low paying job! So now I am embarking on new territory. I am putting on my hairnet and heading into battle! Ok so may be it isn't as exciting as battle, but there are definitely times when I am under attack by members! I got a member card thrown at me yesterday. (And only two weeks in! I feel very proud). My job mainly consists of taking members orders, and getting the food that they need. (Or sometimes the food that they don't...hey it's only my second week). I promptly end my exchange with the member with a "Thank you! Have a nice day!" Which I have quickly learned means..."We're done here! Please get out of my line as quickly as possible and sort the bills in your wallet somewhere else!" It's hard, it's greasy, but it paaaays! I bought a new dress to wear to the film festival showing. Somehow those steam burns from the hot dog holder seem a little more worth it...

Lights, Camera, Action!!

I am SO PUMPED. You know what I love best about acting? The high it gives you that lasts for days. This weekend I had an amazing opportunity to be a part of my friend Myles' film he was entering in a 48hr film festival. It was so much fun. The festival gives you a genre, (ours was romance) a line of dialogue, ("I have no idea") a prop (a keyboard) and a character, (Jaimie, an actress). We provided the talent, know how, and redbull! This project came just in the nick of time. I was feeling a little down afraid I was giving up acting all together. But now I realize even without AMDA, I can do this. (Of course having really talented friends always helps!) I really hope I can do another project like this soon. Thanks to Myles' and everyone else involved!! It gave me the boost I needed!


Oh and P.S.

After a few months of being single, I realize it's really...not that bad! I mean hey, a girl always would like a date let's not lie =) But I feel pretty comfortable in my skin...and I like that!

I got money in the baaaank...

Well, not yet. But soon! Because today...I got another job! I am now a proud employee of

Costco!!

Alright, so it's not a Broadway stage...but they are paying me significantly more than I am being paid now...plus it's 25 hrs a week min required...YAY! And to top it all off, I will be getting benefits! I have never had a job that gave benefits. I feel so (as silly as this sounds) grown up. I really feel like I am actually starting to change. New jobs that are actually going to pay me significant money, new attitude towards messiness, (I am very unorganized, so sometimes that leads to a mess...but you should see my room and bathroom for the last month...spick and span) and I think I am starting to skim the surface with this whole confidence thing. The job helped with that.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna be ok.

I'm gonna learn how to function.

I'm gonna make MOOOOOOONEEEEEY! =)