I feel like it has been way to long since I have written to still say that I have been sucessful with my goal of "Be continuing with my blogging." Buuut, I already checked that one off in my mind so, I'm keeping it you can't take it away from me!!
This post however, I decided would have nothing really to do with my goals. This is just something that was on my mind. Yesterday, I woke up in the worst mood. Not a crabby I don't wanna talk to you mood. I was depressed. Really depressed. I was missing someone. And the hard thing is, is when you are missing someone, you can't really do anything about it. Calling them doesn't work cuz the conversation won't go the way you planned it to in your head. (I suddenly think of a certain scene in "500 Days of Summer"...if you havent seen it, stop everything and go watch it now!) And you can't take out pictures of them cuz well, that just makes it worse. But enough about missing someone, what about just being depressed in general? I noticed something yesterday as I plummented in my mood quickly ending with Ben and Jerry's and too much wine. We as humans revel in our bad moods. We love to be unhappy. I know, that sounds crazy. But look at what we do when we are sad. (or at least what I did yesterday) I thought about the specific thing that was making me sad. I dwelled upon it, I remembered details, and inspected it. Not once did I say, "This is unhealthy, let's think about something else, or at least try to." Nope, I thought. Then, as soon as I got in the car I turned on that one song that I knew would make me even more sad. And when the song was done and had completed its job of successfully making me feel worse...I hit repeat. WHY do we do this to ourselves?? We feed off of problems and phobias and broken relationships and memories that will never be. Luckily for me a revelation came, disguised as a small childrens' choir. I walked in to teach, and couldn't help but feed off of their energy. I left feeling slightly better, still sad, but I wasn't crying into my spudnuts coffee anymore. It was a start. The radio turned on. Sound waves of saddness, sweatpants, overeating, and facebook stalking came rushing out of the speakers. SO I changed it. Did I feel like singing my heart out to Ke$ha at the time? Not really. But within a minute, my foot was at least feeling up to tapping along. My point is, maybe we would be a whole lot more happy with our lives, if we actually put some effort into being happy. Chosing to be. Are my extended feelings any changed because of my mood turn around yesterday? No. Of course not. You will have ups and downs. But my immidiate feelings definitely changed. I was able to put away the sad for a little while and enjoy some good. You know Dennis Prager says that we have a moral obligation to be happy because our attitude so greatly effects the people around us. Now I don't think you should go so far as being a total poser and faking happiness all the time. But, let a little kid make you laugh, turn on some Ke$ha, tap that foot.
