Je-sus Walks...

It is truly interesting being a musical theatre student, and a Christian as well. A few months ago I came to the decision that I was supposed to leave school. So I completely gave up my dreams of becoming a performer and put on my apron and made pizzas at Costco for eight hours a day. Right? I was so convinced that, that was exactly what God wanted me to do. But looking back now I see that what I really think what I was doing was running away. I chickened out. Being a Christian in such a secular world can be extremely daunting. And it was easier to just leave than to face the fear of changing because of the world around me.

Today I can honestly say I couldn't be happier with my decision to go back to school. I am doing what I love, and I truly believe I am glorifying God at the same time. God did not put us on earth to hide in our churches and Bible studies. He wants us to go out in the world. That's why it's so convinient that Jesus walks with us.

It's awesome the things God starts showing you when you start looking.

Cumcumber Council

If there is one thing you need to know about me, it's that I LOVE my niece. I could spend countless hours playing with her and watching her favorite movies. Example: Veggietales. Now if you didn't grow up in a home that watched Veggietales when you were little, first, I am very sorry. And second if you didn't, let me explain. Veggietales are animated Christian movies for kids that teach them about God's love and values. They feature of course, Veggetables. Larry the cucumber happens to be my favorite.

So the other day I was sitting cuddling with my niece watching one of our favorite Veggietales, "Dave and the Giant Pickle." At the end of the movie, Bob the tomato was explaining to Larry the verse found in Phillipians "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Larry then asked the question, "So does that mean if I wanna be a chicken, I can ask God and he will turn me into a chicken??!" As silly as it sounds don't we as Christians often have a Larry the cucumber mentality? So the seemingly older, wiser, and more level headed tomato explained "No, this verse means that whatever God wants us to do, we will be able to do it."

So many times we as Christians ask God to move mountains and wake up confused when we haven't turned into a chicken overnight. He will strengthen us to do His work, in accordance with His will. With His strength I can have a thankful heart, with His strength I can share with my non Christian friends about Him, with His strength I can walk away from my past into a bright new future, with His strength I can forgive.

Who knew a cucumber could be so profound?

My Son/Boyfriend?

So It's been close to a month since I last posted? Ick. Not ok. We will work on this. And those goals I've been working on...don't worry I am still working on them. I'll post more about those in the next couple of days. But tonight, I felt it was time to introduce you all to a very important person in my life...My Dog, Linus. And yes I say person on purpose. He is quite possibly my favorite person in the world.

Two years ago this little bundle of joy came into my life...

So cute it hurts, right? I know. Quickly he was deemed my "son" and our adventures began. Linus quickly won the hearts over every family member in our house. We nicknamed him my "rescue" dog. He came to me right after my divorce. I like to think that he rehabilitated me =)

I was so proud of my little boy! His name came to me one day sitting at work. I actually looked on baby name websites haha. And finally I came across Linus. I knew it was perfect for him because A. My mom grew up loving the Peanuts Gang, and B. He already was constantly wrapped up in this specific blue towel we had. It was meant to be.

After Linus started getting older, he went through a sort of "doggie puberty." Except instead of the voice change, Linus had what we call the "ear change."

The last one shows a tradition that lasted quite some time. Our neighbors had an orange tree and after every walk Linus would pick one up off of the ground and carry it all the way home. He would drop it out for me and wait patiently while I peeled it for him so he could enjoy his treat! =) This next one we call "The Trump Look."

Another variation:

Finally his head began to grow into his ears, and they seemed to take their final resting place =)

One day we got a new recliner, and moved our old rocking chair off to the side. Before we had a chance to take it outside to get rid of it, Linus realized he could easily make use of it...

No Shame.

This chair has now never left its awkard spot in our bonus room and how now been deemed "The Linus Chair". Every night this is where he goes to relax =)

As my sittuation changed, Linus went for being referred to as my son to every once in a while as "the only man I need", or "the man in my life" and finally just, "My boyfriend."

He loves to spoon. So there you have it, my son/boyfriend. The only man I need =) Who is your favorite "person?"

Happy Place

I feel like it has been way to long since I have written to still say that I have been sucessful with my goal of "Be continuing with my blogging." Buuut, I already checked that one off in my mind so, I'm keeping it you can't take it away from me!!

This post however, I decided would have nothing really to do with my goals. This is just something that was on my mind. Yesterday, I woke up in the worst mood. Not a crabby I don't wanna talk to you mood. I was depressed. Really depressed. I was missing someone. And the hard thing is, is when you are missing someone, you can't really do anything about it. Calling them doesn't work cuz the conversation won't go the way you planned it to in your head. (I suddenly think of a certain scene in "500 Days of Summer"...if you havent seen it, stop everything and go watch it now!) And you can't take out pictures of them cuz well, that just makes it worse. But enough about missing someone, what about just being depressed in general? I noticed something yesterday as I plummented in my mood quickly ending with Ben and Jerry's and too much wine. We as humans revel in our bad moods. We love to be unhappy. I know, that sounds crazy. But look at what we do when we are sad. (or at least what I did yesterday) I thought about the specific thing that was making me sad. I dwelled upon it, I remembered details, and inspected it. Not once did I say, "This is unhealthy, let's think about something else, or at least try to." Nope, I thought. Then, as soon as I got in the car I turned on that one song that I knew would make me even more sad. And when the song was done and had completed its job of successfully making me feel worse...I hit repeat. WHY do we do this to ourselves?? We feed off of problems and phobias and broken relationships and memories that will never be. Luckily for me a revelation came, disguised as a small childrens' choir. I walked in to teach, and couldn't help but feed off of their energy. I left feeling slightly better, still sad, but I wasn't crying into my spudnuts coffee anymore. It was a start. The radio turned on. Sound waves of saddness, sweatpants, overeating, and facebook stalking came rushing out of the speakers. SO I changed it. Did I feel like singing my heart out to Ke$ha at the time? Not really. But within a minute, my foot was at least feeling up to tapping along. My point is, maybe we would be a whole lot more happy with our lives, if we actually put some effort into being happy. Chosing to be. Are my extended feelings any changed because of my mood turn around yesterday? No. Of course not. You will have ups and downs. But my immidiate feelings definitely changed. I was able to put away the sad for a little while and enjoy some good. You know Dennis Prager says that we have a moral obligation to be happy because our attitude so greatly effects the people around us. Now I don't think you should go so far as being a total poser and faking happiness all the time. But, let a little kid make you laugh, turn on some Ke$ha, tap that foot.

Rachel, Party for One

Alright. So I am supposed to be on this new journey of "finding myself" , being "ok" with being single, and doing all these new projects and goals to keep me ocupied. I am occupied. Thats great. I've got a new job that I am very thankful for, which I hope I will be able to keep when school starts. Oh yeah...I forgot to mention...I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOOOOOLL! I am beyond happy about that. But I am am less than satisfied with the single status than I was two months ago. I'm starting to loose steam. I think it sets you back about ten steps when you are watching other people move on when your still standing in the exact same place. It's just a little daunting. People meeting people, everyone getting married around you. People having babies. It's just a lot to handle. I think I'm gonna cuddle Linus now.

Two things crossed off? YEAH BABY!

Alright folks! We are only a little bit into this and I have TWO that's right TWO items completely crossed off of my list! First off...Three recipes (Yes that is how you spell that word...odd) to make and have my family try. My first was the out of the box pasta pie. YUM! And thanks to my mom's birthday party...we got two more!! My sister and I made bacon wrapped smokies. OMG. Super easy, but I have never made them before so it counts!! Get some cocktail wieners, wrap them in some raw bacon, throw em on a pan, sprinkle some brown sugar, and bake at 350 for about 20. These were definitely the hit of the night! The next thing we made was my Mom's cake. From scratch ladies and gentlemen...mno boxing it here! Although it tasted like it was from a box if I do say so myself. And it looked so pretty too! =)

Fun isn't it?? This was a lemon cake with homemade buttercream frosting. With a little food coloring, and a lot of patience, we were able to make it just the right shade of lavender! If you want a great lemon cake recipe, go on to http://www.marthastewart.com/ and type in "Ruffle Tower Cake" into the recipe finder. It will show you the recipe for the cake, and for the frosting.

And next on the list....The DIY arbor my mom and I wanted for the backyard. I did it!! Well....with a looot of my dad's help. The thing is this could have been something I did on my own and gotten done, however it would have fallen over with the first slight breeze. I love my dad, cuz he never wants to do anything half way. I think this project could be a 100-110 dollar project, but with him involved (haha) it ended up being about 150. Which I am actually glad for, I probably would've chosen the cheapest wood there and then all the bugs would have eaten it alive! And screws...scrap metal? Sure why not? Lol...no. My dads choice were "Not just any old screws." So with his amazing help, a beautiful arbor was made.. The wood before it was stained... After it was stained...

I'm a serious stainer...

And I was planning on showing step by step, but I kinda forgot to take picture of that, so...basically cut the wood so you can make three "ladders, and then put them together...hahah and VIOLA!!

A beautiful arbor for your backyard!! Seriously guys...ANYONE could do this. So fun, so easy, and so pretty! It feels SO good to have two items off of my list!!

DIY

I am the type of person who loves to do it MYSELF! I would much rather fix up something old instead of buying it new. Hence, almost every single piece of furniture in my room was used previously and repainted (multiple times=) by me. Sooo...

A few months ago I saw this picture in the inside of my Damien Rice cd cover, and I fell in love with her. I immediately began planning in my head how I could blow the picture up somehow and get in printed on a canvas. However that of course involves CAAASH. Although the new job is goin pretty well, I'm no high roller. So I decided to just try and paint her myself. So here it is, my third grader art haha. She doesn't look exactly like the print of course, and one day I really would love to get an actual print enlarged, but for now, I really like her. And I'm just proud that I did her...MYSELF!! And that's what I love about art...it's abstract, it's interpretive, it can look any way you want! What DIY projects do you have laying around to do. Roll up your sleeves and give it a try!

"Have a nice Day!"

After finishing a long ten hr work day yesterday, I thought it would be appropriate to write a post on my new job...Costco! The ten hrs I will admit also included my last shift at Forever 21. The job was good for me for the time being but....wait let's be honest. The only good part about that job was the girls I worked with and the teeeeeny discount I got. It was an easy job, but a very low paying job! So now I am embarking on new territory. I am putting on my hairnet and heading into battle! Ok so may be it isn't as exciting as battle, but there are definitely times when I am under attack by members! I got a member card thrown at me yesterday. (And only two weeks in! I feel very proud). My job mainly consists of taking members orders, and getting the food that they need. (Or sometimes the food that they don't...hey it's only my second week). I promptly end my exchange with the member with a "Thank you! Have a nice day!" Which I have quickly learned means..."We're done here! Please get out of my line as quickly as possible and sort the bills in your wallet somewhere else!" It's hard, it's greasy, but it paaaays! I bought a new dress to wear to the film festival showing. Somehow those steam burns from the hot dog holder seem a little more worth it...

Lights, Camera, Action!!

I am SO PUMPED. You know what I love best about acting? The high it gives you that lasts for days. This weekend I had an amazing opportunity to be a part of my friend Myles' film he was entering in a 48hr film festival. It was so much fun. The festival gives you a genre, (ours was romance) a line of dialogue, ("I have no idea") a prop (a keyboard) and a character, (Jaimie, an actress). We provided the talent, know how, and redbull! This project came just in the nick of time. I was feeling a little down afraid I was giving up acting all together. But now I realize even without AMDA, I can do this. (Of course having really talented friends always helps!) I really hope I can do another project like this soon. Thanks to Myles' and everyone else involved!! It gave me the boost I needed!


Oh and P.S.

After a few months of being single, I realize it's really...not that bad! I mean hey, a girl always would like a date let's not lie =) But I feel pretty comfortable in my skin...and I like that!

I got money in the baaaank...

Well, not yet. But soon! Because today...I got another job! I am now a proud employee of

Costco!!

Alright, so it's not a Broadway stage...but they are paying me significantly more than I am being paid now...plus it's 25 hrs a week min required...YAY! And to top it all off, I will be getting benefits! I have never had a job that gave benefits. I feel so (as silly as this sounds) grown up. I really feel like I am actually starting to change. New jobs that are actually going to pay me significant money, new attitude towards messiness, (I am very unorganized, so sometimes that leads to a mess...but you should see my room and bathroom for the last month...spick and span) and I think I am starting to skim the surface with this whole confidence thing. The job helped with that.

I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna be ok.

I'm gonna learn how to function.

I'm gonna make MOOOOOOONEEEEEY! =)

Kiss the cook!

That's right, only the second day in and I already started on one of my goals. Proud? Well...I am! Haha. Tonight I made one of my three new recipes in my "Rachel Renovation" project. I just came up with that name now...hmmm, it's sticking most definitely. Anyways tonight I made...

"Outside-the-Box pasta pie"

It was Delicious, if I do say so myself. My family loved it as well and said it was a definite repeat recipe! I put the recipe down below if any of you are interested to try it yourself..I highly recommend it. This recipe was very easy, inexpensive (I only spent $19 at the grocery store plus I have plenty of left overs with the ingredients that will be used easily) I used whole grain pasta to try and be a little more healthy and it tasted awesome! Also, if you were to just to non fat milk, low fat cheese, and low fat cream cheese (especially because the amount of cream cheese that is used is so small) this would be a really health conscience meal! I also used turkey bacon, which again the recipe only calls for two slices spread throughout the whole dish. So...here you go! Let me know if you guys try it!! Have fun with it. Add something to make it your own and let us know about it!

Outside-the-box pasta pie

1 teaspoon salt, plus more for pasta-cooking water

8 ounces of penne or penne rigate

1/2 cup milk

2 large eggs

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Dash Worcestershire sauce (say that five times fast! =)

Pinch freshly grated nutmeg (mmm...adds so much flavor!)

Black pepper

2 slices bacon

1/2 medium onion

1/4 cup drained-oil packed sun dried tomatoes (I just used a fresh tomato and it tasted great)

1 tablespoon unsalted butter, plus more for greasing pie dish (I hardly used any butter withe the veggies to keep it healthy)

2 cups broccoli florets

2 ounces cream cheese

2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese

1. Preheat the over to 350 degrees F. Bring a large pot of water to boil over high heat and salt it generously. Add penne and boil, stirring occasionally, until al dente, about 6 to 8 minutes. Meanwhile, whisk milk, eggs, mustard, Worcestershire, nutmeg, and some black pepper in a large bowl. Drain the penne, let cool for a few minutes, then add to the bowl.

2. Roughly chop the onion and tomatoes. Melt the butter in a medium skillet over medium high heat until it begins to crisp, 3 to 4 minutes. (I removed the bacon from the skillet and then did the veggies, because the recipe didn't leave any chance to break the bacon into small bits before mixing it with everything else. So I took the bacon out, put the veggies in the skillet, then broke up the bacon and put it with the veggies) Add the onion, tomatoes, and broccoli to the skillet. Season with salt and pepper and cook until onion is tender, about five minutes. Toss the vegetable mixture with the pasta, add the cream cheese and 1 1/2 cups of cheese. Stir until cheese starts to melt

3. Grease a 9 inch pie dish with some butter and mound the pasta mixture in the dish. Scatter the remaining 1/2 cup cheese over top. Bake until pie is set and the top is golden brown and crisp, about 25 minutes. Let cool slightly before serving.

All The Single Ladies...

I have officially not been single since (drum roll, please) 2006. I know, kinda crazy. I feel like my life is one string of attempted relationships. I chose the word attempted because I just really don't want to use the word "failed" when describing my past. So now, it is time to learn how to function...all by my lonesome. To help me through this oh so needed season of singleness, I am making myself a list of projects/goals for myself. I will keep you guys updated on how I'm doing on the list, and may be I will encourage some people to gets some things they have been wanting to get done too. These all will take work, of course, but not one of them is an unrealistic goal.

My time limit (because I need boundaries, this I know) is six months....So that makes the official date : January 22, 2011. (eek!)

1. Be continuing with my blogging (hey, I'm doing good on one already!)

2. Have my credit card bill paid off

3. Have outside arbor made (A DIY project my mom and I came up with)

4. Actually finish the scarf I started to knit

5. Have etsy site up and running with my sister

6. Have enough money saved to go to my friend Jessica's wedding in Pennsylvania (This one the date will have to be slightly sooner, since the wedding is towards the beginning of Jan)

7. Have signed up and started taking cake decorating classes with my mom and sister

8. Have a savings account that I am actually adding money too, instead of using it all to buy stuff...(but I love stuff!)

9. Try out 3 new recipies, and make them for my family)

10. And this one is more of a hopeful state of mind but, be content with myself without someone on my arm.

Well here I go, I'll let you know how I am doing. I am really serious about this though. Some of these may seem like silly goals, but when your life is just one unfinished project, finishing little project make you feel really good. So here is to feeling good! Hey single ladies..."Now put your hands up!!"

Penny for my thoughts...

Boy I wish it was that easy! Ever since I was little, I have been slightly obsessed with making money. I always feel like there is some magic way to my fortune that I just haven't found yet. When I was oh around five I started my first business. I would draw pictures and put them in my fisher price shopping cart and go around the house yelling "Pictures for sale!!!" I would have them marked, 1 cent, 5 cents. Well then I realized, "Hey, people think this is cute." So I would draw special pictures with specific people in mind according to their interest and then slap a 75 cent sign on there. Now that's good marketing, my friends.
Now a days I am slowly making my way to my fortune via Forever 21. It's a slow but steady climb ha. I can't wait until fall comes, two performing arts jobs in the works, so that will help. But in the mean time...I want extra cash! I feel so greedy but I can't help it. I am an AVID recycler, and coin saver. Which actually are not something to laugh at! When my jar is full of coins I get about 15 bucks each time. And the last time I turned in my recycling I got 13 bucks. At least it bought me lunch for the day =)


How do you guys make a little money on the side?

AMDA

Well, I finially made my dream of getting into, and attending a musical theatre academy true. And then...I dropped out. WTF. Lol I know. I can honestly say I NEVER thought I would ever make this decision, but I can honestly say I know it was the right one for me. I made it after LOTS of thought and prayer. As much as I am going to miss being a part of such an amazing place, I know the blessings are gonna come my way and they will fill that void tenfold because I followed what I really believe God wanted me to do. I will forever be changed by the people I met, and the experiences I had as an AMDA student. It's a little hard to think I wont be graduating next to you guys. So I wont think about it too much. I already have a bunch of new opportunities for work, and fun that have come my way. I will be the new Kids Choir and Show Choir instructor at a new performing arts academy in my town. I also may be teaching choir at another elementary school. So those are some blessings already. I'm itching for a show though. That is next on the "to do" list. I gotta go "be a monster," as the fabulous Tracy Silver would say. Just in a different way.

Bottles, Bibs, and Besties

A year ago, I would have never thought that I would be spending the evening with my two best friends "oohing" and "ahhing" over a brand new baby any time soon. But boy am I glad that is the way it turned out. Sometimes life can send some surprises. And I happen to be one of those people who believe the best packages...are the smallest ones!
My friend Katie is an amazing mother! Already her instincts amaze me. It makes me wonder...when the time comes for me, will I be that natural? Lily is so beautiful! Such a blessing, and I'm so glad I get to be here to watch her grow!

Fast Food Nation?

Has anyone heard about this woman, Donna Simpson? It is this woman's dying wish, and I do mean dying, to weigh 1,000 lbs. No, that is not a type-o. I wish it was. My first reaction when I saw this was shock. I just kept staring at the page of the magazine thinking, "This has to be somesort of joke." No one would strive to make them selves weigh that much. But apparently, there is no price some people aren't willing to pay for a little bit of fame. How sad. This woman has two children. What is going to happen to them? There mother is slowly killing herself for some attention. I wish someone would sit down with this woman and tell her that she is special/ important/ valid, whatever she needs to hear, without doing all this. May be they have. I resolve to love myself for who I am. And not to do anything outlandish to get attention!

"I don't suck"

I have wanted to start one of these for a long time. But I never did in fear of the fact that I might not have anything interesting to say. But I think the benefit of sending some thoughts out into the cosmos will be worth the risk of being thought of as boring. Haha.
So here is what my mind in on today...Is it just me or is everyone getting married? Geese laweeze. Everywhere I look there is another sparkly diamond being waved in my face. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them I really am. Everyone deserves that time when it comes. I just can't help but notice how vastly different the lives of almost everyone my age are than mine.
So what. I got married. It didn't quite work out the way I planned. So now I'm starting over. Well, I have been starting over for almost two years now. But somedays the uphill battle feels a little more steep than others. Especially when other people...are getting married. Granted, I think it's good that I'm not right now, I'm not ready for it...again haha. SO...I resolve to accept the fact that I am in a different place than my friends are. I am my own person, and I will do things in my OWN time. And I'm ok with that. I'll keep telling myself that ;) Mr. Sloman, my musical theatre teacher, said the best mantra in the world. My new official mantra. "I don't suck. I don't suck. I don't suck."